Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A Little Bit More Inside My Mind


            I guess you can say that I am pretty average, and not out of the ordinary when you first meet me. Another teenager, another young person that makes stupid choices, and that acts in a reckless manner. Although I see that, in me, I see an entirely different part of myself that I do not see in anybody else my age. I don’t drown with problems that are obviously miniscule. I can honestly say that despite the relationships I’ve had. I’ve never “fallen in love.” I constantly think of the future, and how my life will end up. I wonder of the people that I might meet later on in my life. And I wonder about the moment in which I have to leave this world, and what I will leave behind.

            I have strange thoughts about people that have similarities with me. I have a certain dislike for people my age. Despite the fact that I’m a teenager, I really don’t like teenagers. I hear kids talking about how they get drunk, have sex, and all these scandalous things that not even adults should be doing, and I just feel like slapping their faces to see if the stupidity falls out of their brains. I hear them discuss their First World Problems when I am here struggling to survive each day.

            I also have a very strong dislike towards people that have money. They don’t see the struggle that the people down here have to go through every day. I hear people that I know talk back to their parents, go do drugs, drink, party, and are never home, and yet they have amazing cars, the latest phones, brand name clothes, and are never home. Meanwhile, I am always in school, giving it the best my mind, soul, and body can give. I love and respect my parents, never get in trouble, have never even been close to a crazy drunk party, and here I am having to work with the things I have, while I see others have it in the most easy way possible.

            I don’t mind living the way I do, because my parents give me what they can, and I know they’re giving it their best shot at me being successful. “I be po’, son!” and it’s fine, because I know that others are not as blessed as me anyways. What I just wonder is why does life have to be so kind to those that do no good in this world. Why are drug dealers successful, while churches have to struggle so much in order to go around the world and do good to others in need? Why do criminals enjoy their stay in prison when it’s supposed to be a punishment? I guess I’ll never know, and it’s something that I have to live with for the rest of my life.

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